Characteristics
Parents are the closest to their own children, and that's how it should be. Parents are not present in kindergarten, school or other upbringing arenas, and do not experience for themselves what happens in different situations and how the children treat each other when they are together. When their children come home and tell about what has happened, they often have no other reference points than the child's story.
If the child comes home and tells about other children who are ruining the game, "calling", hitting, not functioning well socially with others and being a nuisance to their own child, it is their job to support their own child. In some cases, these parents talk to other parents, who can tell about the same experiences from their children. The parents perceive, through the children's group's stories, that there is a child in the children's group who is challenging, and who is a nuisance to other children in various ways. The parents' group understands the children's frustration, and shares it. They hear repeated stories about a child who has become so angry that he has hit and kicked, destroyed the game, does not understand the social rules of the game or appears strange and different.
The authentication process is powerful and persuasive
It is often the case that the reactions of the person who is subjected to bullying behavior are clearly visible to others, while the cause is not. Children who are subjected to bullying behavior and exclusion are constantly receiving “bad passes” and are “played out” by other children. They often end up in confrontations or reactions, where they appear problematic and difficult. It is difficult to see that the reactions are caused by being subjected to bullying behavior.
The parent group is also involved in the bullying behavior
When children who engage in bullying behavior also receive support from their parents, and the parents adopt the children's legitimization of bullying behavior, we have come a long way in the negative development. The child who is exposed to bullying behavior also has the parent group against him, and is completely played out. The bullying behavior has taken on a more serious character, and has reached a new level, where the parent group is also involved in bullying behavior through passive legitimization.
Risk factors
Those who observe only see the reaction of the victim. This in turn reinforces the legitimization, and the narrative, of a child who does not function well enough socially, and therefore should be excluded. They are played badly by other children, who in turn use this in their legitimization process, and tell their parents about the other's negative characteristics at home. Legitimization thus functions as a self-fulfilling prophecy, through negative labels on the victimized child.
Tools and measures
- FFS
- Parent-teacher conferences
- Parent meetings