Who is the dream coach from the perspective of children and young people?

For some children, the coach can be the one important adult who makes an important difference to the lives of children and young people. In any case, the role of coach involves care, responsibility and clarity. Children live their everyday lives in several arenas. Sport is often one of these arenas. Different children with different stories. These stories affect their experience in sport and training. It may be that those who have difficulty at school experience the same in sport and vice versa. Sport can also be a free zone, an arena where you are seen. Certainly because of a skilled coach.

Being seen is a basic need for everyone.

To be a coach who sees, who shows that he/she believes in you and who gives you positive feedback on who you are – even outside of being an athlete.

One who says :

• I think you can do it.
• Nice to see you.
• Good thing you came today.
• Are you coming on Thursday?

A coach who answers the phone and calls you if you have been absent. The small attention that can make a big difference. Participating in training also means that more adults see you and take part in your everyday life, which in itself is very important. Adults who see the whole of who you are and your skills. That you are on time for training, have your equipment with you and are ready when training starts.

When we ask young people what they want, we may be surprised.

We may think that young people want to make many decisions for themselves. This is not always the case. Young people want adults to take charge and have control. This applies to both those who are bullied and those who engage in bullying behavior.

Determined and warm

Being clear and firm does not mean being authoritarian or angry, so that children and young people become afraid of what will happen if I don't listen. Such adult behavior can contribute to children and young people feeling insecure and withdrawing. Being firm and warm is often the best combination. An adult who understands that unforeseen things will happen and who deals with it in a calm but clear way. 

We want all children and young people to experience development and mastery, and to enjoy the sport they do. Some will also want to become good at what they do. We often do not know who will eventually want this – and we as adults must then create the space children/young people need to explore this. We must therefore, as adults, take responsibility for the entire community, and make sure that everyone is included. Children and young people need guidance, and then the exercise of the adult role in itself is some of the most important guidance we can provide. Children/young people are not small adults, and we must be careful not to impose adult demands and expectations on them too early. 

A central part of children's lives is play, and we as adults must not forget that. Much good learning and training for children and young people occurs through play, and this is also a responsibility we as adults have – to initiate play and play-based activities.

So a dream coach for children and young people in this perspective is an adult who is clear and determined, and who shows zero tolerance for bullying and insults. An adult who dares to set the framework needed to ensure a safe community for everyone.