3 tools to help you work concretely

In this final section, you will find three simple tricks that will make it easier for you as a coach, manager or parent to work specifically with children and young people in sports arenas. Please note that these tricks belong together and are mutually dependent on each other.

The Role Model Trick – The Attention Trick – The Communication Trick

The role model trick

This trick is about understanding that being a role model is something you can be aware of and a tool you can use actively to work on the quality of community in the group. Being a role model is often thought of as something you just are. But being a good role model in a role such as a coach, team leader or parent is something you can practice. And when you are a good role model, you keep in mind that children and young people often copy the behavior of those they perceive as important adults. We must be aware that being a role model is about everything you do, even when you are not aware of it.

Examples: Children and young people can copy the way we stand and walk. They can copy our attitudes. They can copy things we say. They may not do it immediately, but it quickly becomes a part of them and what they do. 

Tips for the role model trick

Be sure to say hello by name to everyone who comes. This way you model that here at our place we see each other. We say hello, We welcome each other. It's about looking around. Pay attention. Is everyone here? Is there anyone outside? Show through your actions that you include everyone. 

All of this also needs to be taken into account by parents and others present in the training or competition arena. When adults agree together on what they want to model, what they want to show, and stand up for it, it turns out that children and young people follow suit. 

The attention trick 

The attention trick is about giving attention to what we want to see more of. What we want to promote in terms of skills, attitudes and actions. The theory behind it is that children and young people will constantly work to be validated. To get positive attention. Or simply just attention from us adults.

If they don't get attention when they do the right things, some children and young people may resort to negative actions to get attention. And then they often get it, and then these actions or behaviors are repeated. However, if you can direct your attention to what you want to see more of, you will probably see more of it.

Not a given

Be aware that you do not take what we often think of as normal behavior for granted. For example, that you give positive attention to those who come to training and include everyone. Or the one who sends a pass to someone who needs it. It is wise to actively practice giving attention to such things. This will make children and young people aware that this is desired behavior.

Children and young people most often focus on what is rewarding. What they get attention for. What the adult comments on. What the adult praises them for. Positive and desired behavior must be consciously commented on because we are dealing with children and young people in growth and development. 

They will practice, they will learn, they will explore and then they will figure out how to be together and support each other to master and develop positively personally and athletically.

The communication trick

The communication trick is about how we actively use our language to correct, remind, and confirm. 

• Correction: This is perhaps the category we use the most, but perhaps we should use less. Correcting unwanted behavior is necessary, but should be a last resort when you have not achieved what you want through affirmations and reminders.
• Reminder: It's like, hey guys, this is going to happen, you're going to do this, this is expected. 
• Confirmation: And then the last thing, which we should also use even more of, which is related to both the role model principle and the attention principle, is confirmation. Confirming when we see that children and young people are doing as we expected, as we wanted, or doing something well. 

A more detailed description of these three principles can be found in topic 8 “Giving good messages”

Most importantly

The main message in this section is to try to increase the number of good reminders. This should happen, this is expected. 

An example: You are going to divide into groups of five and five. You have decided who will be on the team. Before you read out the names in the group, you talk to the group about how to react when the names are read out. This provides a reminder that, for example, we expect us to react neutrally. There will be no team switching. Maybe remind them of how it feels to be the one on the team that everyone wants to switch from. And then when you have divided the teams, and everyone has done as you expect, you are active with confirmations. You are good at taking notice. You do as we agree. You are good at cooperating. 

Corrective messages, reminders, and acknowledging messages of praise are all important. However, it is strongly recommended to ensure that the frequency of reminders and acknowledgements is clearly the highest.